When we say "Yes"

A few years ago I stepped way out of my comfort zone and said Yes to whatever God had for me beyond my comfortable, cozy life. It wasn't easy...easy would be staying home, watching TV and enjoying the complacency of  my life. Deep down I knew, as a Christian, my life was supposed to be less about me and much, much more about my Father and His business. After all He didn't leave me here to sit back and just enjoy life....no He left all of us here for much more than that.

"If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him."John 12:26

As I stepped out of my comfort zone I prayed and asked God to use me and to break my heart for what breaks His. Little did I know as I prayed that specific prayer, life as I knew it would begin to change forever. Slowly, God would change everything and show me that a life lived for Him is so much better than the life I had been living for myself. God is funny the way He works in our lives...ever so slowly He just begins to give us more and more and more. Then before you even realize it your life is completely different and more full than you could have ever imagined you had time for.  It is amazing to look back on all He has done and see EVERYTHING changed and NOTHING changed!

This new life is so much better filled with unimaginable JOY. Even though the road to JOY has difficulties...God in his mercy and grace laces it with moments of pure joy the difficulties almost disappear. As God is stretching us and molding us into the people He wants us to be, it is painful at times, it's uncomfortable at times but in the end it is so worth all of it...knowing all you do is for His glory. Knowing this makes letting go of "the life YOU had planned" so much sweeter...because you can SEE and now actually FEEL the life He has had planned for you all along.

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands" Isaiah 55:12

Our Journey into Foster Care

A few nights ago we sat in our PATH classes and listened to the horrors of children in foster care.  How and why they end up in custody. Never, never is it their fault, although they think it is.  Survival behaviors....that is how they function when they come into foster care. They are fighting to survive even as young as 4 or 5 years old. Once again my eyes are being opened in a new way as to how broken world is. How did this happen...why did this happen to children in our own country? It's days like this that I long for Jesus to come back....to make all things new. So the children and babies in our own country and countries all around the world will know the love of their heavenly Father. The day when there will be no more abuse of any kind, no more nights with no food, no more nights not knowing where they will sleep, no more fear, no more days living without a mommy or a daddy, no more days of despair, and no more survival behaviors because they will know LOVE, finally when Jesus comes back.

Until that day we are left here....to do His work for the fatherless. Steve and I both KNOW even though we might want to run the other direction because this is sad...this is scary and this journey is full of unknowns, we have been called down this road. As we sit learning how "treat" the sexually abused child we both wonder how can we take care of these broken children?  Maybe this really isn't what God would have us do, but we know that isn't truth because we know the truth... "So it is a sin for the person who knows to do what is good and doesn't do it" James 4:17.  Once again God has opened our eyes to something ugly...something we don't want to see...something we don't want to have invade our thoughts all day, every day. But it's too late....now we know and now we must act because if we don't who will?

My Plans

Almost 3 years ago God began opening my eyes to the orphan crisis.  I "wore the t-shirt" never thinking I would actually "step into" the world of adoption...orphan care...foster care etc.  I was happy to wear the t-shirt in hopes of raising awareness.  I had no idea what God had in mind....I had no idea that my life would soon be changed forever.

If you have read my previous posts you would know how our involvement of inner-city ministry would lead to adoption for our family. God then used adoption to open my eyes to the vast global orphan crisis.  Every day I learn more of what God expects of all of us in caring for the fatherless. And every day I learn more and more about what my Father expects of me and how I fall short especially when I get so busy focusing on MY PLAN instead of stopping to listen to what He is telling me. Maybe because it has been my experience when I really listen it's scary and hard, it's never easy.  It means I have to give something up...like my time...my money...my vacation...my life...whatever it is I think is mine. When in reality nothing is mine.
Before our adoption of Joshua was final I felt God pressing on us to adopt again. In my mind I didn't want Joshua to grow up alone....his siblings are older 23, 21, 19, and 16. So the feeling to adopt again fit perfectly into the plan I thought God had for our family.  So I began to go forward with MY plan as soon as Joshua's adoption was final.  I went from international adoption to then feeling like we were supposed to adopt domestically. I contacted our social worker and began the process of another homestudy...I also looked into foster care classes...maybe we could adopt from foster care? So I signed us up for our PATH classes (foster care classes). We were well on our way with MY PLAN...or so I thought.

Camp: A Movie Review

 I had the opportunity to preview the movie coming out this spring "Camp".  It is a movie about giving hope and healing to foster children in the United States by sending them to camp for 1 week every summer. This movie is based on true events from Royal Family Kids Camp. Royal Family Kids is a 501(c)(3) non-profit which is the nations leading network of camps for abused, neglected and abandoned children. They encourage churches to sponsor camps for children in need in their own communities.

The "Littles"

The last couple of weeks I have been in a melancholy mood as my mind drifts over the last year. I glance behind me and look at Joshua and somedays cannot believe all that God has done in our lives over the last year.  He not only gave us this beautiful little gift of Joshua but he placed  a family in our life that we would be connected to forever. The story God weaved for us is more than just about our adoption, it is about the three beautiful "littles" that remain with their Mama. About the three "littles" that will be in my heart forever.

I love these three faces! I love the days I get to see them and spend moments with them I hug them tight as I can and whisper in their ears...I love you. I pray that when life gets hard maybe they will remember those whispers. I pray that God will step into their lives and whisper to all of them "I love you...I am with you" and they will recognize that voice and turn to Him. I long for that day for them and for their Mama.
 

The journey...

Joshua's birthday is in just a few days....He will ONE! I remember my children's first birthdays....all joy...presents..family...and a baby full of cake!  It isn't really going to be different as Joshua turns 1 except my mind will zoom back to "this time last year" as it has so often the last couple of weeks.  I look into my beautiful baby's deep brown eyes and God reminds me of the journey He set us on 1 year ago.  Joshua is beautiful, perfect, a blessing straight from Heaven. God in His mercy has given us PURE JOY as He placed Joshua in our family. And it was by God's grace that He allowed Joshua to be our child....because we were not always sure Joshua would be allowed to stay....forever.

Radically changed...forever

 This is my first attempt at blogging....the first time to share with those interested the story of "our family". God in his infinite wisdom and mercy began changing our family two and a half years ago.  Opening our eyes to His ways...His desires and as He did our lives were radically altered. He continues to change us and grow us every single day. For that, I am eternally grateful to our Father for reminding me daily of his promise..."For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." Isaiah 55:8.