Two weeks ago Steve and I were blessed to bring a beautiful
newborn into our home to love for as long as God would allow us to love
her. I can’t share details of this private
placement, I wish I could because there is always beauty in God’s stories. The most amazing part of this journey is how
God equips you for what he has called you to do for Him. ”God is my helper; the Lord
is the sustainer of my life.” Psalm 54:4
That promise we hold on to because exactly two weeks after
bringing this precious baby into our home we received the call that she would
be going home. As much as we, in our flesh, would love to hold her and love her
forever….His plans are different. His plans are always perfect even if those
plans are not our plans….even when it is painful. Our hearts are comforted
knowing she will be loved and cared for by her family and by her heavenly
Father. He will watch over her and He
will protect her always. Praying the
time we spent with her birthmother has made a difference, praying a seed planted
but we may never know. The story is
already written and it isn’t ours to understand only to trust and rest in Him.
“Then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what
goes on under the sun. Despite all their efforts to search it out, no one can
discover its meaning. Even if the wise claim they know, they cannot really
comprehend it. Ecclesiastes 8:17
As I packed her clothes Friday evening tears began to roll
down my cheeks. As quickly as she
entered our lives she was leaving. I held her tighter and loved her more deeply
as she woke up during the night that last night knowing it would be for the
last time. As I fed her tears once again began to filled my eyes as they do now as I attempt to keep writing
through tears that are less today than they were the day before. I wasn’t
expecting the flood of emotions that I have gone through. I know that many
children will enter our door and the inevitable goodbyes will come many, many
times. Our first instinct is to guard our
hearts…but what good would we be if we did that? No, the children coming into
our family will be loved with our whole heart no matter the cost, just as God has
loved us. He has loved us and saved us
at great cost to Himself. The love we
give to others should be no less than the love given to us by our Father. “But God
demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ
died for us” Romans 5:8 Never did I think that in two short weeks I
could fall in love so completely. The heart is amazing and the ability God has given us to love is truly
a gift. “No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God remains
in us and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:12
Our Father is growing Steve and
me in this fostercare journey that has only just begun. This is the first of many good-byes. Our sweet
Baby “K” will never remember us, but we will always remember her. She has left
a footprint on our hearts. The sleepless nights have been worth it and we will
do it again and again if it means a child will be safe and loved. The goodbye
days will come and the goodbye days will go in this journey. There is absolutely no avoiding those
difficult days. But we know they will be worth every single tear shed. For now we wait for our next placement and reflect and meditate
on God’s promises…”We also glory in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character;
and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has
been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to
us.” Romans 5:3-5
As I end this post I looked
down at my phone to see an email with pictures of sweet baby “K” at HOME. Yes
she is home now, right where she belongs! We are incredibly blessed!! So
amazing when God reaches down from heaven and reminds us, with a simple email,
that He knows we are hurting and He is with us until the very end. Thank You
Father for your steadfast love and patience with us as YOU grow us into the
children you want us to be.
Blessings,
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