Saturday, June 7, 2014

Dying to this Life

As I look back over the last seven years of my life I can see the path God has had for me and my family so clearly. Seven years ago, Jesus saved me from myself. From the moment He saved me my life has changed, I'm not the same person, I have been made new. Somedays my mind drifts to my "old life", the way I use to think, see, and hear the world around me. To be totally honest, some days I miss that life. My flesh would love nothing more than to sit down in that same chair four years ago reading Radical and not hear what it was saying, be unreponsive to the words God used to change my direction. But that is my flesh, that is the weakness that remains in me.

At 50 I NEVER thought I would be a mother to 7 children ages 25yrs to 15 months. Four biological, one adopted, and two foster children is the craziness of our life. This is not the life I had planned. I had very different plans. I wanted to be retiring in a few years...going to the beach, enjoying life, all of my children grown and leaving the nest. God in His mercy and love for us revealed other plans...plans that would break my heart and fill my heart. As I look at our "littles" I feel incredibly blessed to be back here. My husband gets to experience childhood for the first time, and I get to experience it with new eyes and, I like to think, more wisdom.

In the moments of my life when I stop to "see it" I am overwhelmed with it's volume and with it's blessing!  I'm exhausted and filled both at the same time! I have been given a beautiful gift to be a wife, a mother, to work in ministry full time at Sweet Sleep, and to serve on the Orphan Sunday Leadership Team. I have been allowed to serve the orphans that have captivated my heart. I didn't seek any of it, and I certainly didn't deserve it, just like our adoption of Joshua, God has put all of it in my path and it has been an incredible journey of faith, heartbreak at times and most of all love.  He has opened my eyes to the vast needs around me and He has compeled me to act.
For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead. James 2:26

I am grateful beyond words to share this journey with my husband and best friend, Steve. This journey God has set us on cannot be done alone, it would never work. This journey is motivated by love for each other and for the One who loves us most, our ultimate purpose is to please Him. Our prayer is that our life reflects the love He has for us.

There is such truth in God's word...to hear, to learn and to live. We can be transformed by it or we can choose to live the life we want, a life lived for ourselves and our desires. There are days when I wish Jesus would come quickly, but then He reminds me there is much work to be done. So we press on...even when it's hard, even when it's messy, even when we would rather just be sitting at the beach.  Thank You Jesus...for salvation....for allowing us to die to ourselves so that one day we will live forever with You.
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

 

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