The End

Four years ago we stepped into the life of a young mother of three. Despite warnings she did not want to "change" we stepped in anyway. Sure, just as God never left me in my mess, He would certainly step into her mess and change her heart. It would just require us to walk with her for a while. We were in it long term,determined she was worth it, Joshua's birth family would become a huge part of our life.

With certainty, we forged ahead one day at a time. She became pregnant and we were fortunate enough to be asked to adopt this precious baby and save him from the generational poverty his birth-mother had lived in for so long. But, we didn't want to just save Joshua we wanted to see his birth-mother whole, healed and able to care for the three children which would remain with her.
Life would have been easier if we would have adopted Joshua and walked away, but God didn't call us to be comfortable He called us to serve Him which meant we would continue to walk with her. We were obedient, we followed and trusted God every step of the way. I can't recall the number of times we stepped in and helped our birth-mother...it doesn't really matter, suffice it to say, we have been the one constant in her life for a long time even though she has many natural supports which should be surrounding her. Unfortunately, she comes from a long line of generational poverty, she is a victim of her circumstances every single day. She can't see the forest for the trees, the beautiful ocean beyond the puddle. She lives in the mud every day of her life and we have learned she likes it there, in the mess, not because she can't get out of the mess, but because she doesn't desire to get out of it.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” C.S Lewis

Two and half weeks ago we brought her two youngest children into our home....she had a plan. She was going to have stable housing AND transportation within the next month. She desired to have the boys with her again as soon as she was situated and stable. It looked like that would happen, instead last week I received a frantic phone call saying she was losing everything, basically. She was taking her oldest child out of school to live in another city with a relative. Once again, her mess would continue, despite my naive idea she would really come through with that plan. Remember this has been four years of highs and lows, mostly lows with this 25 year old girl. 

As our house became a chaotic mess, I dropped the boys off for a little respite. I had coffee with a very wise friend and something she said resonated with me all week. "Chaos, stress, anxiety....none of that is from God." At that moment, I knew we had not done the right thing by taking the boys into our home. In an attempt to help our birth mother in her struggles, (her current mess)....we were, in actuality, enabling her to be free of all responsibilities as a mother. She had sent her daughter off and the boys were with us. She could now do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. She was accountable to no one. We have had to make the hardest decision of our lives in the last few days...we are going to have to "let go". 

Today, we will say good-bye to these sweet precious boys, who deserve so much more, as they go live with their mama. The mama they cry for every night even though she is a mess. Because these kids living in the chaotic mess of their parents lives, still long for their parents. They don't know any different. But, the problem is we can't save our birth mother. We can't continue to be in the way of God's plan for her any longer, I think we have done that for too long. Only God can step in and change the direction of their lives and only He knows what that looks like. Today and in the days ahead, I am pleading with Him to intervene to save them, all of them. I am thankful for the "safety net" that has been created for the boys....those who need to be aware of the situation are watching and ready to take action if she is not stable.

Today is the day we are reminded, in our own effort, we are unable to serve in inner city ministry. We love and trust too much. We have loved our birth mother too much, loved her children too much, stepped in too much, helped too much and trusted way too much. We have wanted more for her than she has ever wanted for herself. She has to want to get out of the mud and enjoy a holiday at the sea with her three children by her side. It isn't impossible! 

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:25-26

YOU can step into inner city ministry by serving with G.I.R.L.S. Ranch and The Den in Murfreesboro TN. 

We will never be equipped but God always equips the called!

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.Hebrews 13:20-21