The "process" was quick and efficient, Billy started special education preschool within the next few weeks and our journey into the world of Autism began. I watched Billy climb on the little yellow bus still grieving the "loss" of my little boy and the uncertainty of what his life would like in the years to come. I grieved a long time for Billy and, selfishly, for myself. In my mind, I had lost the child I thought I would have. My "plans" died that spring day as we walked out a speech evaluation and we were given a "new normal". I have never really liked this new normal, I don't think I have to like it, I think God "gets that" and it's o.k. What I do know about this journey is I have seen the glory of The Lord as His plans for Billy and our family have unfolded over the years. In those moments when I look back and get a glimpse of all He has done...that is when I am "o.k" with the new normal.
You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.
Psalm 40:5
You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.
Psalm 40:5
Kindergarten came and Billy received his "official diagnosis" of Autism...there it was, I couldn't deny it, I had to face it and begin to advocate for my little boy. Every step of the way God provided wonderful people who would guide my path and teach me how to advocate for my little boy. Never once did God leave us alone as we walked this new territory, despite the fact I didn't know Him. Thankfully, that would change along the way, too. You can read the entire story Autism and Redemption on a previous blog. He is a good Father, He is faithful to His children...I have lived that truth and am forever grateful to our Father who loves us with an everlasting love.
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8
Billy had wonderful teachers along the way. Some were wonderful instantly and some needed "guidance" to understand what I expected as I advocated for Billy. We sat through endless meetings from the time Billy started kindergarten and all the years in between until 8th grade. I fought for inclusion every step of the way, yes fought. How can a child with Autism, learn socially appropriate behaviors if they are never around their neuro-typical peers? Billy needed to be taught everything from learning how to speak in sentences to playing with other children. Nothing came easy...even though on the Autism spectrum Billy was "high functioning" it never felt that way in those first few years. It was a battle each time we would enter a new school but it was worth the battle for my son. Billy remained in school, fully included, until 8th grade. The battle became too much...too hard..and with the help and encouragement of his wonderful tutor, I withdrew Billy from middle school and homeschool would begin. I have never regretted that decision. I am grateful it is something I was able to do.
The teenage years and young adulthood have had their challenges. Billy has seen his siblings have friends, learn to drive, have jobs, go off to college and get married. He has serious struggles at times, and, once again I am thankful God provided gifted, compassionate doctors at Vanderbilt who specialize in Autism. They supported Billy and me as we have adjusted medicines and recognized those times when more intense one on one therapy was indicated. They assured me transitions like the one Billy went through as he entered adulthood was very common in people on the Autism Spectrum. If you think about it in simple terms...imagine not being able to articulate the feelings you have about never having friends, no girlfriend, no college, no driving and always being home with your parents. I can't imagine the feelings he must experience, but I do know the feelings I have knowing this is his struggle. I am thankful for the moments of light in the last few years like Days Journey, Possibility Place and Best Buddies. It is during those times Billy has experienced life and real joy away from me.
Today, I continue to be an advocate for Billy. To advocate, once again, for him to live in community with his neuro-typical peers. A place where he can learn to be independent, to take care of himself, get himself to work, cook, clean...all the life skills most of us take for granted. Young adults with special needs all require an advocate, someone to be their voice, someone willing to battle for yet another new normal. Our kids matter to us and more importantly they matter to God. They are perfectly and wonderfully made in His image. They are different not less, they have Autism, they are not Autistic. They are not defined by their disability and they deserve to enjoy this one life, and we have the chance to help them do just that!
Once again, God has not left us alone. He has opened a door for Friendship Housing of Murfreesboro, an affordable housing project for young adults with special needs. This is an inter-dependent community where our adult children with special needs will live with graduate students from our community. A place where they will finally have the chance to live the life God has planned for them, independent of their parents.
We can't do this alone, we need the help of family, friends, the community and beyond to support this project and provide HOPE for our kids. Please, prayerfully consider donating or becoming involved as we enter into this project that will impact young adults with and without special needs in our community for years to come.
Learn more about FH of Murfreesboro by visiting our Go Fund Me Page. Consider giving up one Starbucks or one fast food meal this week and donate what you would spend to help us make this a new normal for our young adults, a new normal I can finally embrace!
Blessings,
Roberta and family....
The teenage years and young adulthood have had their challenges. Billy has seen his siblings have friends, learn to drive, have jobs, go off to college and get married. He has serious struggles at times, and, once again I am thankful God provided gifted, compassionate doctors at Vanderbilt who specialize in Autism. They supported Billy and me as we have adjusted medicines and recognized those times when more intense one on one therapy was indicated. They assured me transitions like the one Billy went through as he entered adulthood was very common in people on the Autism Spectrum. If you think about it in simple terms...imagine not being able to articulate the feelings you have about never having friends, no girlfriend, no college, no driving and always being home with your parents. I can't imagine the feelings he must experience, but I do know the feelings I have knowing this is his struggle. I am thankful for the moments of light in the last few years like Days Journey, Possibility Place and Best Buddies. It is during those times Billy has experienced life and real joy away from me.
Today, I continue to be an advocate for Billy. To advocate, once again, for him to live in community with his neuro-typical peers. A place where he can learn to be independent, to take care of himself, get himself to work, cook, clean...all the life skills most of us take for granted. Young adults with special needs all require an advocate, someone to be their voice, someone willing to battle for yet another new normal. Our kids matter to us and more importantly they matter to God. They are perfectly and wonderfully made in His image. They are different not less, they have Autism, they are not Autistic. They are not defined by their disability and they deserve to enjoy this one life, and we have the chance to help them do just that!
Once again, God has not left us alone. He has opened a door for Friendship Housing of Murfreesboro, an affordable housing project for young adults with special needs. This is an inter-dependent community where our adult children with special needs will live with graduate students from our community. A place where they will finally have the chance to live the life God has planned for them, independent of their parents.
We can't do this alone, we need the help of family, friends, the community and beyond to support this project and provide HOPE for our kids. Please, prayerfully consider donating or becoming involved as we enter into this project that will impact young adults with and without special needs in our community for years to come.
Learn more about FH of Murfreesboro by visiting our Go Fund Me Page. Consider giving up one Starbucks or one fast food meal this week and donate what you would spend to help us make this a new normal for our young adults, a new normal I can finally embrace!
Blessings,
Roberta and family....
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